alright. I'm calming down now. I don't have much time. shit. why did this have to happen a few months after my International Mothlaureate? my IBs (cough, IMs) were all i was looking for. and now? I was to travel abroad, start a short lived life in another country. something compelled me to stay right where i am. maybe it was family. maybe it was this country (ironic, because now i'm on my deathbed in this country), but it might also have been, and i mean 'for sure, it was' because of a girl. oh, yeah, my little moth friends will know what i mean, but that is the beauty of dreaming, is it not? and remember, i am on my deathbed. why i seem to take on this nagging tone, i do not know. i have nothing to complain about. on the contrary, i can only find perfection in this work of art. i will never acknowledge my staying is due to her. but that is the beauty of thoughts, and dreams, and the fact that i am on my deathbed.

i am getting tired. i must talk about this later, chance willing.

And the Moth slep

And he flew across the room
And he saw a multitude of flowers
And he traveled to the centre of the room
And he turned on the wall
And he flew back

He traveled to the centre of the room
He saw a multitude of flowers
Multitude of smells

The Floor vibrated
The Grass shown
The Centre Opened
The Centre Opened

He took the time
to travel to
the centre
of his mind

He tried to come back
There was no light
He saw only dark

He swayed
He died

And Then He Woke Up

After a minute

Ok, ok... i'm calmming down now. No need to panic.
humm... for some reason i am thinking of the first time i panicked. funny thing, the mind is.
how can i remember such attrocity when so many good things have happened in my life, and which i have forgotten.
i remember being on the road. it was early in the morning, and rather cold. i saw this sand buggy stuck to the mud and went over there to see what was happening. it's funny to think of such monstrocity that becomes of a car or even a sand buggy when seen upon the eyes of a moth. i was really young, and didn't know what to excpect when being behind it. until, that is, when it reversed.
goddamn, did that hurt. the buggy hurdled over me. i just remember the tyre coming up and swiftly down. i was stuck under those horrible treads. what horrors did i experience. my dim body was pushing the buggy back as much as possible. but my strength did nothing. that feeling of ineptitude and uselessness against that powerful and unstopable force that was the buggy on top of me is reminded to me to this day.
i was lucky the mud was soft and so i wasn't squished under the massive tyre.
i don't seem to be so lucky now, the water has vaccumed tight my body.

i wonder if someone could build a ladder for me to use?

The First Few Seconds

ok. ok. what happened?
where am I? Look around. Steady. Steady.
These bright lights. Shit. I should have followed my friend's (possibly brother's) warnings. The lights were dangerous. I couldn't resist. They. Are. So Beautiful! I'm in love. That soul-flooding warmth, that non-sensical assault of the senses.
I was the one.
I was the one who touched it; who felt at first-hand what everyone, even the weary ones, told me. As i got closer, it became more intense, i knew i would leave behind my past world of dull dreams and hollow irrevelances.
That eternal glow embodied me, took me in a complete attraction. The rumours were true, the radience would change my life. I knew it would. I felt it.
And now. And now. What has happened? Why am i on the ground?
I'm.
I'm stuck. My legs are unable to disjoin themselves from this viscous liquid, this will be my transparent death.
I look around. The walls are in a bowl around me.
So I stop to think. These are the first few seconds. Of the end. Of the end of my life. Has it already begun? I feel as so. Can't I do anything to make my time pass any faster?
No.
Wait.
Yes:
I shall think.